I knew it! All Mommies out there know what I am talking about...that sick mommy instinct when you just know that something is about to go down, and you are usually right! I have proof from my last blog post that I felt deep in my soul that my kids were about to get sick! In fact, I spent three days in prayer over my children pleading, begging God to keep my kids healthy. It's funny how my prayers began to change as the days went on. The first day was pleading for God's mercy to keep us all healthy. The 2nd night I was wrestling with God as I felt He was saying, "Do you trust me?" I full on said, "No God! In fact, I don't trust you because I know my kids are about to get sick!" (For reals I said that...is that bad?) By the third night I was praying, "God help my lack of faith." And that night God said, "Just trust me!"
I was freaking out about all of us getting sick because we are about to leave for Santa Cruz tomorrow for a support raising trip. I have soooo been looking forward to this, because I have missed Santa Cruz and its people so much! I just knew that we were all going to get sick and we wouldn't be able to go, or worse we would get there and all be sick and not be able to meet with people. Oh the scenarios that went through my head (I won't tell you about the one that involved the grapevine and kids throwing up in the back seat). Sure enough, I barley put down my prayer journal and dosed off to sleep last night when a little voice gently woke me up saying, "Mommy, I threw up." It was funny because I was not even surprised. I think I said something ...in my still half asleep state....like "I know you did." and we walked to the bathroom to clean up. Now Peyton is my easy going child, my mom has appropriately nick named her "Pollyanna" because she is always finding the good in every situation. For example, I suggested we make her a bed on the bathroom floor because I figured she would need to be there for the night and you would have thought I said, "lets have a camp out in the back yard!" She began jumping up and down with excitement and we were both laughing as we set it up. I left her there on the floor with her comforter, blanket, stuffed bunny and pillow with a smile on her face. Even though she threw up all night long, every time I checked on her she had a smile for me and by morning she was back to her normal, happy go lucky self!
Two words "Only God" right?
As I reflected today on...the least dramatic stomach flu episode ever... I realized that God and I have been playing this same game a lot lately.
"God I DON'T want to move from Santa Cruz!"
"But God I DON'T want Peyton to have to switch schools half way through the year."
"But God where will we live and how will my family function with out our own place?"
"God I DON'T want my family to get sick."
"Just trust me."
As I went through my day today I noticed that much like the peace I have received in every situation since our move, today was no different Yes, there are still family members that could catch this bug, but I am no longer worried about it. The anxiety is gone and God is still faithful.
I have been doing this exercise every night before I go to sleep where I simply write out my "acknowledgments" of who God has proven to be to me. Here is a sneak peak at one of my writings:
"I acknowledge that you are my teacher, my leader, my provider and my guide, praise you father because you are good. I praise you because you are all knowing, all wisdom, all grace and all love and I acknowledge that nothing can happen in this World that will ever change that. I acknowledge that you are president over this world, that you and only you can save us and bring us peace!"
On this night that can be stricken with anxiety over what is to come of our nation, I encourage you to take a moment to write down your "acknowledgments" of who God is to you. Please use this blog or the facebook page to jot them down. Nothing would bless me more than to see your praises to our God!